You know that moment when you're standing in your living room at 11 PM, stepping over toys and trying to find a clean surface to put your coffee mug down, and you just think "how did it get this bad?" That was me about four years ago, before the divorce, before I figured out that maybe – just maybe – I didn't need to own half of Target to be happy.
I mean, we're constantly being told we need more stuff, right? Every commercial, every Instagram ad, every trip to the grocery store where they've somehow made the checkout line into a gauntlet of things you supposedly can't live without. It's exhausting. And expensive. And honestly? Most of it ends up shoved in a closet somewhere, making you feel guilty every time you see it.
After Mike and I split up and I had to move the kids into this tiny apartment, I literally couldn't fit our old life into our new space. I remember Emma crying because we couldn't bring her entire collection of stuffed animals – we're talking like sixty of them, half of which she'd never even played with. But in that moment, trying to explain to a seven-year-old why we couldn't keep everything, I realized I'd been holding onto stuff for all the wrong reasons too.
The thing is, getting rid of things wasn't just about making room. It was like… every box I donated felt like I could breathe a little easier. Less stuff meant less to clean, less to organize, less to feel overwhelmed by when I got home from work exhausted. And trust me, as a single mom working full-time, I need all the help I can get.
I started small – went through our kitchen first because that's where the most ridiculous stuff lived. I had three different types of garlic presses (why?), a bread maker I'd used exactly twice, and enough coffee mugs to serve a small army. Kept what we actually used, donated the rest. The kids thought I'd lost my mind, but suddenly we could actually find things when we needed them.
Then I tackled their rooms. Made it into a game – anything they hadn't touched in six months had to go unless they could give me a really good reason why they needed it. Lucas was pretty good about it, but Emma… that kid wanted to keep everything because "what if I need it someday?" I get it, I really do, because I was the same way. But someday never comes, and meanwhile you're drowning in maybes.
The clothes were probably the hardest part for me. I had stuff from before I had kids, stuff that might fit again if I lost twenty pounds, stuff I'd bought on sale and never wore because I didn't actually like it. Kept about a third of what I had, and you know what? Getting dressed became so much easier when everything in my closet actually fit and looked decent on me.
What really surprised me was how the kids adapted. After the initial complaints, they stopped asking where things were because everything had a place. Their rooms stayed cleaner because there wasn't as much stuff to make a mess with. And when birthday parties came around, they were more thoughtful about what they actually wanted instead of just grabbing everything that looked interesting.
My ex definitely thought I'd gone overboard when he'd pick up the kids. "The place looks so empty, are you sure you're okay?" Yeah, Mike, I'm better than I was when we had a house full of stuff we couldn't afford and didn't need. But he never really got that the stuff wasn't making us happy – it was just making us stressed and broke.
The mental shift was the biggest change though. Instead of automatically saying yes to things – sales, free samples, gifts from relatives who mean well but don't understand our space situation – I started asking myself if we actually needed it. Like, really needed it, not just wanted it in the moment. Turns out, most of the time the answer was no.
I had to set some boundaries with family too, which was awkward but necessary. My ex-mother-in-law kept showing up with bags of stuff for the kids, and I finally had to explain that we just didn't have room. She took it personally at first, but now she asks before buying them things, which actually works better for everyone.
The money thing was huge too. When you're not constantly buying stuff you don't need, you realize how much you were spending on impulse purchases and things that seemed like good ideas at the time. I started putting that money toward experiences instead – taking the kids to the zoo, going out for pizza, stuff we'd actually remember.
It's not like we live in some stark, magazine-perfect space now. We still have plenty of books and games and art supplies. But everything we kept serves a purpose or brings us joy. The kids' artwork goes up on the fridge for a while, then most of it gets recycled. We take pictures of the really special stuff instead of keeping every single thing they make at school.
Shopping became completely different too. I make lists now and actually stick to them. If I see something I think I want, I wait a week and see if I still think about it. Usually I don't. And when I do buy something, I try to get rid of something else to make room for it. Keeps things from building up again.
The biggest test came last Christmas when relatives went overboard with gifts again. I let the kids enjoy everything for a few weeks, then we quietly went through and donated the stuff they weren't actually playing with. They barely noticed, which tells you how much of it they really needed in the first place.
People ask me if I miss having more stuff, and honestly? No. I miss the financial stress that came with buying it, I miss spending weekends cleaning and organizing instead of having fun with my kids, I miss feeling like our home was always chaos no matter how hard I tried to keep it neat.
What I don't miss is the guilt. The guilt over not using things I'd spent money on, the guilt over getting rid of gifts people had given us, the guilt over not being able to keep our house looking like the homes in magazines. Turns out that guilt was way heavier than any of the stuff I got rid of.
The kids are older now – Emma's ten and Lucas is seven – and this is just normal life for them. They know we're selective about what we keep, they know we don't buy things just because they're on sale or because everyone else has them. I hope I'm teaching them that happiness doesn't come from accumulating stuff, but from appreciating what you have and spending time with people you care about.
It's an ongoing thing, not a one-time fix. Stuff still comes into the house, the kids still accumulate things, I still occasionally buy something I don't really need. But now I notice it happening and deal with it before it gets out of control again. Every few months we do a quick purge, just to keep things manageable.
<a href="https://clearhomeclearmind.com/the-joys-of-living-with-less-reflections-on-a-minimalist-lifestyle/"><a href="https://clearhomeclearmind.com/the-joys-of-living-with-less-reflections-on-a-minimalist-lifestyle/">Living with less</a></a> has given me more – more time, more peace, more money, more space to actually enjoy my home instead of just maintaining it. And maybe most importantly, more time to focus on being a mom instead of just managing our possessions. That's worth more than anything I got rid of.
Theresa’s a single mom in Denver who turned chaos into calm through minimalism. She writes candidly about raising kids with less stuff and more sanity—proof that simple living isn’t just possible, it’s necessary
